


Guilt

by Pernico_otp



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Anger, Angst, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-03 01:59:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1726991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pernico_otp/pseuds/Pernico_otp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Annabeth died during the War, and Percy had no one else to blame her death on but Nico.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic might be a little sad and depressing. Just saying. 
> 
> Based off of a tumblr thing.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> -Cam

Percy ran into the Big House, where all of the seven, plus Nico and Reyna, were sitting.

 

He looked around the room confused, and then he seemed panicked.

 

"Where's Annabeth?"

 

Silence.

 

"Where is she?" he demanded.

 

Uncomfortable glances were exchanged.

 

"Where IS SHE?" he yelled.

 

"Percy…" Jason spoke up, his arm wrapped around his girlfriend. He looked around the room to see Hazel basically hiding behind Frank, tears streaming down her face. Reyna looked as stoic as ever, but with a faint glimpse of sadness in her eyes. Calypso held Leo's hand so tight that her knuckles turned white.

 

"You…" Percy pointed at Nico. Jason could tell he felt guilty. All eyes were on Nico now. Jason knew he hated being center of attention, he was on the verge of tears

 

"She thought her plan was fool proof, there was nothing I could do-" he was cut off by a fuming Percy.

 

"You promised me. You promised me that you would protect her. You promised me to keep her safe!" he yelled, taking a few angry steps toward the son of Hades. Jason reached an arm out to stop Percy, and thankfully he did stop.

 

"What about Bianca, Percy?"

  
The room went silent.

 

About 2 seconds of uncomfortable silence later , Nico strode out of the room.

 

Percy collapsed in the middle of the floor, Hazel and Leo hurried over to him. Their bright and happy friend had turned into a sobbing, fragile mess. After a few minutes, Jason didn’t quite know what to do, so he did what he thought would be best, he went to Nico's cabin

 

* * *

 

 

He knocked on the door. "Nico? Nico. Open up… It’s Jason." He heard nothing from the other side of the door. So he decided to open it.

 

What he saw in the Hades cabin that day, he might not be able to unsee. The table was knocked over, so was the couch. Papers were scattered across the floor, some of the papers had small drops of blood on them. The room was dark, and the windows were cracked open. The mirror was broken. And then he turned his attention to the middle of the room, how could he have missed it.

 

Nico hung there, he had already passed out. His hand was bleeding, probably from breaking the mirror. "NICO!" He yelled, running toward the hanging boy. He cut him down from the noose, taking it off of his neck. His pulse was still there, but barely. He picked Nico up,  and carried him to the infirmary. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so glad that so many people have liked the first chapter! It really means a lot to me. Funny story, I was actually scrolling through the Percico tag on tumblr and I saw my fic posted, TWICE! So I am very happy. 
> 
> Please leave a review in the comments. I would love to know what you guys think or what I could've done better. I am always open to suggestion. 
> 
> Enjoy the next chapter!
> 
> -Cam

Nico woke up in the infirmary about 2 days later. Jason was sitting by his bed. To say the least, he was disappointed, only Jason was there.  He wished more people would be here. Maybe they would only let him in.

 

It took a few seconds for Jason to realize Nico was awake. "Oh! You're awake. I'll go get a child of apollo"  He smiled sadly and left the room, bringing back one of Apollo's children, who really just made sure he was alright. And then, they left. Leaving Jason and Nico alone again.

 

They sat in awkward silence for a minute, and then Jason decided to speak up.  "A lot happened while you were asleep" he started, and when Nico didn’t acknowledge him, he continued. "Everyone visited, I swear I was not the only one." All he received was a glare. Jason really should've stayed quiet, but he wasn’t lying, everyone had visited, except for Percy, that is.

 

Jason did leave out a small detail though.

 

* * *

 After he dropped Nico off at the infirmary, he returned to the Big House. Everyone was still in the places they had been when he left. Percy was still sobbing, curled in a ball, With Hazel trying to comfort him.

 

"Guys…" Jason couldn't finish the sentence, so he started again. "Guys Nico is in the infirmary" He stated, trying to remain calm. There was a small gasp from Hazel, who stood up quickly. "What happened?" Calypso asked.

 

"He tried to commit suicide" His voice faltered. And right as he finished, Hazel sprinted out of the room, Frank followed her close behind. "Why on earth would he do that?" Leo seemed confused. Percy looked up at Jason, his eyes puffy from crying.

 

"There's something he's never told you, and I know that I have no right to sat it, but…" He paused. "Nico is… gay"

 

Piper's face dawned in realization. "Oh…" she stared at Percy. Percy and Leo were still clueless. Calypso seemed to have gotten what was happening.

 

"Why does that matter?" Leos voice faded out at the end. "Unless…" And now all of them were staring at Percy, who seemed to be the only one oblivious.

 

"I don’t get it" Percy stated Blatantly.

 

"Obviously" Piper rolled her eyes. "He has a crush on you, idiot"

 

"And I better not hear a word of this coming from any of you. He has told me before that he intends on leaving, and if he finds out that you guys know, he will leave, and you'll never see him again. Are we clear?"

 

Piper, Leo, Reyna, and Calypso nodded as they all left the room. Now Percy and Jason were alone.

 

Percy got up. "I Should probably go see him" he moved toward the door. Jason stopped him. "Not so fast, you are the reason we are in this mess. Right?"

 

"No I'm not. If he hadn't k-" he was cut off when a large fist hit him right in the eye.

 

"Don’t blame it on him. Don't tell him it was his fault, or it will be the last of you. You are not aloud to go see him, I forbid you from even coming near him for at least a week. I know he blamed you for getting his sister killed, I know that you think this is some sort of sick revenge. But I can assure you that it is not. He's still sad about his sister. Have you looked at his life? It’s a pretty sad one, Percy. And you blaming everything on him was the last straw. So I do not want to hear you blame him every again. Ever.  And why am I doing this you might ask? Because he is worth it."

 

Jason let go of Percy before walking out of the room, leaving Percy silent and completely dumbfounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case I don't update or I forget to, my tumblr is impalasfordean. You probably don't want to follow it. You can also message me if you want to suggest something. 
> 
> Chapter 3 coming soon.
> 
> -Cam


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a late update. Sorry if its a crappy chapter.
> 
> Please feel free to follow my tumblr impalasfordean. And please give me feedback.
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> ~Cam

Nico was able to leave the infirmary a few days later, with only a few stiches in his hand. The only thing was that someone had to be with nico or at least know what he was doing at all times of the day. This meant that Hazel would have to stay a few more days than originally planned, which she didn't mind too much.

 

He had a rope burn around his neck, and it was kind of noticeable. He wasn't surprised that Percy wasn't talking to him. He would walk through camp with his head low.

 

"Why'd you do it?" Hazel would ask him. She and Frank had left the room before Jason could tell. Nico wouldn't respond to this question. He would ignore it every time she asked. He would just respond with "I'm going to go down to the forest."

 

He never went to the forest though. Hazel knew this, so she followed  him.

* * *

 

Nico sat down cross-legged across from the headstone. As always, he would start off with "Hey, Bianca. Man I wish you were here." and it changed from there. "Percy blames me, of course. If you see Annabeth, say hi to her from me. Tell her that Percy misses her. But of course Percy blames me. With the guilt built up on my shoulders, I blame myself too. Is this what Percy felt like? When I ran away? Gods I feel like a dick now." Hazel could hear him  sniffle. Tears were silently streaming down her face. She never knew how much Bianca had meant to him. She tried so hard to make it better for him, to be a better sister. Now she saw that that could never happen.

 

"I tried to be with you Bianca, I really did. And when I see you I know you're going to be disappointed in me. You're going to be ashamed. Everything just added up, and all of the voices in my head were screaming at me to do it, I needed to get away from him. I needed to get away from all of this. And you know as well as I do that I'm a freak. You know that mom would hate me. She would wouldn’t she? After all, her gay son is the reason she's dead." Hazel let out a small gasp, and then covered her mouth, hoping he hadn't heard her.

 

Hazel decided that she should stop eavesdropping then. She walked back to camp.

* * *

 

There were tears streaming down Nico's face. "I'm planning on leaving them Bianca, I'm just gonna run away and I'm never going to see them again. I can't look at Percy's face any longer. I need to get away from this guilt. I'm leaving tomorrow, so sorry if you never hear from me again. I love you Bianca." He stood up and left back toward camp.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! Sorry its been so long. But here is chapter 4! 
> 
> Please follow me on tumblr- imapalasfordean  
> And feel free to message me.
> 
> Thank you to aisouno on tumblr for reminding me to upload. 
> 
> Hope you Enjoy!
> 
> -Cam

Nico left, without a word. Without a goodbye. All he left was a note taped to Percy's door.  All it said was "I'm sorry".

 

Hazel woke up that morning, and she realized that Nico wasn’t in his bed. The room looked ransacked. All of his stuff was gone. She knew this was going to happen. She curled up into a ball and started sobbing. It seemed like hours before somebody found her. It happened to be Frank.

 

"Hazel, where have you- Woah. What happened in here." He was shut up by a heartbreaking sob and a sniffle. "Nico left" was what she could barely whisper. He gently sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

 

An hour later they both left the Hades cabin, all set and packed, ready to go back to the Roman camp. But not before Jason and Reyna found them.

 

"What's going on you guys?" Jason asked, obviously concerned. "Nico's gone. He left camp. We're going back to the Roman camp, It's making Hazel a bit… depressed." Her face was blotchy and red from crying. "Wait… NICO LEFT?" He was failing miserably at keeping calm. Frank nodded sadly. "All of his stuff is gone, he didn’t come home last night."

 

"GODS FUCKING DAMMIT" was all Jason could yell. Everyone stared at him, wide-eyed. He never swore. He stormed away toward Cabin three

 

 

He banged on the door. "PERSEUS JACKSON OPEN UP RIGHT THIS INSTANT". He heard some shuffling and some movement. The door swung open, and Percy stared and Jason. "Nico-" "I know" he shoved the note into Jason's hand.

 

"Well aren't we gonna go look for him?" Percy shook his head. "It's no use. He could be halfway around the world by now." Jason sighed, disappointed as he gave up. "I'll go try to Iris Message him." He mumbled, running back to his cabin. 

 

Jason kept trying to iris message him. He tried multiple times. Sometimes he would get a small glimpse of where Nico was before the call got disconnected. It always seemed to be a dilapidated, crumbling, abandoned building. There was writing on the walls, but he could never make it out. It must've been in a different language. Italian Maybe?

 

* * *

 

  
After a few months he stopped trying. He gave up, just like he promised himself he wouldn’t. He didn’t want to stop, but there wasn’t any more he could do. Nico Di Angelo disappeared off the face of the planet. He even asked Hades if he knew where his son was. Apparently, Hades had called on Nico twice, he only came the first time, he hasn’t seen him since.

 

Until one day.

 

Percy Jackson was sitting on the beach, looking out across the water, thinking of Annabeth of course. It still hurt. No matter how much his friends wanted him too, he couldn’t get over Annabeth. Sometimes when he was thinking of her, his mind would wander over to Nico, he never really thought of Nico like that before, he didn’t really want to. He couldn’t help it. He treated Nico terribly, how did Nico even put up with him?

 

His thoughts were cut short, when an iris message appeared in front of him. The screen was mostly black, but he could see the small  outline of someones face. He squinted and looked closer. "Nico?" he questioned. He couldn’t quite make it out. He looked like he was crying. Through the tears, the young man smiled. "Hey Percy"


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was very sad to write. Anyway i hope you enjoy! sorry it took a while. Please follow my tumblr (impalasfordean)
> 
> Enjoy  
> ~Cam

"Nico!" Percy Yelled. "Where are you? What happened? Are you all right? Hazel's been worried sick!" Questions started flowing  out of him, he didn’t give Nico enough time to answer.  "I'm fine Perce, tell Hazel I say hi. I don’t think I'm coming back Percy." He sniffled, still trying to keep up his happy façade. "I just wanted to say Hi. How are you holding up?" Percy stood there speechless. "WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR MONTHS AND ALL I GET IS A WHATS UP?" he yelled. "Don't make this about me! I'm fine!" Percy lied, just as he could tell Nico had been. 

  
The Iris message started to glitch, the screen getting static. And then there was a loss in connection. Percy let out a frustrated yell as he hit the ground next to him. 

 

"Percy?" he heard someone yell behind him. "Over here!" he yelled back. Jason walked over to Percy. "Dude whats wrong?" he asked.

 

"I just got a call from Nico"

 

"WHAT?" Jason yelled. "Where is he? Is he alright? What happened?" he asked questions just like Percy did. "I don’t know where he is, but he said he was fine. But he looked like he had been crying…" he finished.  "Could you see where he was?" Jason's eyes were wide. Percy shook his head.

 

* * *

 

 

The six, Reyna, and Calypso  were hanging out on the beach during their free time. "Jason?" someone called, looking confused and worried. It was a daughter of Hermes. She spotted him and walked over. "Jason its for you." She held out the phone that she was carrying. Where did she get the phone? She must have snuck it in at the beginning of the summer. He took the phone and held it up to his ear.

 

"Hello?" he asked, shakily. Everyone was silently watching. "Hey Jason" he sighed in relief. "Nico! Where are you?" that’s when he heard a small sob. "I-In Bridgeport... Connecticut…" His voice shook. "Nico… What's wrong?" He heard a sniffle. "I-It was my fault Annabeth died? Right? I'm a monster."

 

"Nico no; that’s not tr-"

"But it is. Isn't it? That's why Percy stopped talking to me."

 "Nico talk to _me_ …" He sounded a bit more urgent

"Jason everything's going black, my... my hands are shaking"

"Nico. What did you do?"

"I might have taken too many pills…"

Another sob, this one much bigger than before

"Nico what's the address."

"I-I don’t know"

"Nico!" Jason was practically yelling

"112 Iranistan"

Jason turned to Piper. "Call the police and send them to 112 Iranistan in Bridgeport"

"Nico you're going to be alri-"

_Beep_

"Nico?...Nico?!"


End file.
